Date of Writing: 18/08/2006 Time: GMT + 10 2103hours Currently Listening to: Nothing Mood: Weary
My mood has been wavering for a long time. One minute I'm feeling happy and all, but the next I feel depressed. It's really strange, but after that depression kinda sunk into my mind. I have to thank Ohanians for helping me, I've been a loner as long as I can remember, so kinda weird to have this many REAL caring friends then the people back in school who call themselves 'friends' to me. *shrug* Ever since my grandmother's passing last year, nothing really has been the same. Somehow, I grew to have a low tolerance against my mum. And ever since June when we never called on Father's Day and she lashed out at me and called me unfilial, I've had this deep pit of emotion that sunk in. I'm still trying not to get into trouble or to lash back at my mum, but somehow it just gets harder somehow.
UGR has been a pain, Sales & Marketing and IT have both dumped jobs onto my group which is really UNRELATED to Public Relations. For crying out loud, so what if my team is over efficient? Doesn't mean you can just dump any other job onto us. Geez, crazy guys. As school life gets more hentic, so has my work schedule. But at home I feel lonely, I feel unsecure really. I'm still keeping away from the kitchen knives to my sister's dismay, but my current state of mind those past weeks really drove me to the edge. It gets more and more unsettling as the pit in my stomach grows deeper. The Christian support group has alot of my classmates and some Singaporeans in there, but getting constantly badgered to go for Sunday Mass is irking. My few latest poems were the product of my annoyance and dillusioned state of mind. Needless to say, it sorta sparked up from the spam can and the rest got a huge drift of my angst. Meh...I'm weird.
But lately, I've been getting some weird dreams. Ok, it sounds cliched like Kingdom Hearts, but the splitting headaches that have been plaguing me recently can't be a coincidence. I just thought I was overstressed from my math paper but somehow even after a nice afternoon nap, I'm still dizzy and my dream was so irking. It's almost nearly the same as the ones I've had since my grandmother passed away, and mind you, those dreams plagued me for a whole month before it finally stopped. This one is almost similar, only slightly different with different people in them. I'm getting slightly freaked at the dreams, but I'm hoping that they stop soon. =/
Ouch, there goes my head again, I'm getting all weary again. It's so weird, I'm freaking myself out. =/
~*KaKa*~@ 7:07 PM.
Just me
Basic Profile
Name: Erika Ho
Birthdate: 15th September 1988
Star Sign: Virgo
Zodiac: Dragon
Country: Singapore
Current Residence: Brisbane, Australia
Hobbies: Reading, Writing, Drawing and Playing Games
Currently: Studying in University of Queensland, Year 1
Hopes to: Get past Year 1 without dying!
The Family
Currently staying with:
Petrina Ho, (29th October 1985)
Chan Kit Yi (Kitty), (23rd October 1983)
The Favourites Games: MapleStory, Kingdom Hearts I and Kingdom Hearts II, Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy X, Dynasty Warriors, Trickster Online, Granado Espada Food: Fried Rice, Popcorn Chicken, Japanese Curry Drinks: Coca Cola (Coke), Pepsi, Ramune (Japanese pop drink), Lemonade Animes: Gundam SEED, Gundam SEED Destiny, Flame of Recca, BeyBlade, Digimon, Tennis no Ohjisama (Prince of Tennis), D.N.Angel
